La Roxy in Forbes!

I've started writing a column for Forbes about women and negotiation. The first piece, about bargaining for counterfeit purses in a dangerous street market in Naples, is out today!

Learning The Art Of 'Barguing'

Halfway between Naples and the island of Ischia, on a ferry speeding toward the mainland over the choppy Mediterranean, I was in the bathroom looping my thin black bra through my engagement ring. I figured the crevice closest to my heart was the safest place to hide it. If anyone reached for that region he'd have bigger problems to deal with than an attempted robbery. I'd heard too many stories about robberies in that city and had experienced my own share of bad luck on previous trips. I removed my earrings and watch too.

I was heading to a street market in Naples, willing to face those perils to gain access to some of the finest counterfeits in the world: Gucci, Fendi and Louis Vuitton bags, belts and wallets, possibly siphoned off from the local factories and sold at rock-bottom prices to she who knows how to negotiate. Retail started at $80 a purse, and these were vere finte, or "true fakes."

The rest is here: http://www.forbes.com/2010/10/19/negotiation-bargaining-barguing-forbes-woman-leadership-women.html.

The column, titled She Negotiates, is a joint enterprise between four women: Vickie Pynchon and Lisa Gates (who run the She Negotiates seminar I recently took, which dramatically opened my horizons from asking to negotiation), Katie Phillips (a graduate of NYU's theater program who's working on a screenplay in LA) and yours truly. Together we're going to tackle different angles of asking, negotiation and gender from a Boomer and Generation Y perspective.

Of course, you realize what this means.

Forbes doesn't like anonymous columnists.

So it's time to shed the mystery.

Because the era of anonymity is over.

Who is The Daily Asker?

All dirty details, in the next post.

Welcome, new readers!

If you're coming over from today's Q&A in Time's Cheapskate Blog, welcome! Thanks for stopping by. And many thanks to Brad, for chatting with me!

Here are a few tidbits, to help you get started.

Last summer, inspired by the book Women Don't Ask, I set out to ask one question or negotiate something, every day for a year.

I'm a grad student living in San Diego with my beau, and occasional accomplice in asking, Mr. A. I'm about to wrap up a dissertation in French literature, and once I head back east to defend (my school is there), I'll be on a mad rush to find a job and negotiate my starting salary. Which is where this year's practice should come in handy.

My very first post explained my goals, which were basically not just to save or gain money, but to explore asking and negotiation in all their glory. Would it make me more daring? more assertive? more adventurous? more generous?

So, over the course of the year, I made some mundane requests, like waving a late a dry cleaning rush fee, but also plenty of juicier ones like trying to have coffee with Valentino in his Tuscan vacation villa.

Right now I'm analyzing all that data, explained in more detail here. Once Ask-o-logy is over, I'm going to keep asking and keep blogging.

If you like what you see, feel free to subscribe by hitting the link on the right. I'd also be grateful if you shared my link with people who might enjoy this blog. And I love corresponding with readers! Drop me an email or better yet, leave a comment!! Tell me what discounts or bonuses you've negotiated or... ask me anything!

xo,

La Roxy

The Daily Asker on NPR!

December 26. Day 179.

I just found out I'm on the radio today!

What: NPR's "Here & Now"
When: Local times vary.
Where: Click for a link to the segment.

If you're new to the site, welcome! You can read about how this project started or learn about the book that inspired it. So far, I've shopped with chefs in Seattle, requested a seatmate in New York to stop yammering, gotten my first raise, and saved wads of cash in discounts and upgrades. I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to drop me a line at thedailyasker at gmail or to subscribe, using the button to your right.

It was my first radio or media interview ever. I taped it a few weeks ago, and I was convinced when I hung up that I talked too fast. Thank God for sound editing technology, or the three valiums I popped beforehand (just kidding -- really. No, really.).

I listen to "Here & Now" whenever I'm in Boston, so how cool to talk to them about this project. Thanks for having me on the show!!

UPDATE:

Most of the things I ask for are either impromptu or a natural development from that day's activities. But since starting this project, there are a few requests I've been planning -- either because my life is leaning that way (higher starting salary, new car discount), or because it's something I've long wanted to do (drive a stranger's cool car or see the inside of someone's beautiful home) or because it's a taboo/inhibition/hang up I want to get over (like trying on a stranger's shoe -- not exactly polite dinner party conversation, but what's the big deal, I discovered).

That last category included asking a physician for medical advice at a party. You know, sidling up to that neurologist and complaining about your latest headache, or telling the shrink standing by the stereo equipment about that recurring nightmare you have about that blog post where you can't find the space bar. Curses!!

I'd never want to be that kind of guest. And yet, I do. imagine having the balls to just go up to a specialist and get a free 5 minute consultation? Just to do it, once? Live a little?

Well, I got my chance tonight, since we had dinner at the home of a pair of doctors -- he's a cardiologist, she does internal medicine -- and their other guest was a doctor from Venezuela.

The conversation jumped around from diabetes to Obama, so it didn't feel at all weird when I spoke up about my deep, dark health affliction.

"How many colds do you think is normal for a person to get in a year?" I inquired.

"Here, or where? Depends on where you live," the Venezuelan replied. "Here, people are sick all the time. A lot of times, it's actually allegies -- mold, humidity -- "

"I don't live here.. So for a cold, for an average healthy person living anywhere, is... eight times a year too many?"

"Yes, I would say so. That's a lot."

"Five times a year? Three?"

"Maybe three is more normal."

"Because I keep getting colds," I pressed. "And they're not allergies. It's a recent thing -- the past year or two..."

"Then your immune system must be down. Get your sinuses checked out. It could be something chronic, that makes you more susceptible to getting sick."

Gained: $100 -- value of a clinic consultation. Or $10 -- value of my copay. Or an insight into my health. Or a realization that there are worse things than being the pushy party patient. It's a tossup.

The Daily Asker on Salon!!

October 9. Day 101.

Oh. My. Bejeezus.

I woke up this morning, checked my email and noticed I had a few more comments than usual. The most recent one started, "I heard about your blog from today's post on Salon.com's Broadsheet..."

What???? Seriously???

I ran to my computer, to see this!!

You can check out the rest of the story here.

Today's asking cleary hasn't happened yet, since I'm still answering comments and emails and acting generally silly and giddy, but what a way to start the day.

Thank you, Salon.