Day 13 of 30: Let others tell you no, don’t do it for them

Last weekend, an editor at one of the papers I write for wrote to me with the words every freelancer dreams of hearing: “I truly am eager for additional stories.”

On Monday (yes, last Monday -- I've been asking but not writing, apologies!!!), I sent her five ideas. The first two were the ones I thought she’d be most likely to go for: fast turnaround, right in line with the publication’s and section's goals. The third was a spinoff of Option 2, turning it into a series. I figured that if she needs stories, one remedy would be to take one idea and break it up into smaller units. Option 4 was a complete reach. I just threw it in there because I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally wanted to do it. It involved travel. To FRANCE!! I added a fifth idea I thought would be fun to learn about, just for the hell of it. The pitch started

Last resort: Here's an idea that would be harder to research, unless I found a lead on a source.

I was pretty sure she wouldn’t take it, since it would take a lot of reporting time and she needed stories now. But who knows? Maybe she hated the rest? Maybe she wanted to assign it to someone else? Whatever. I just threw it in there.

Moments later, I got her answer.

She went for Option 2. No surprise.
Option 5. Really!?
And… HOT DAMN I’M GOING TO CORSICA!!!!!!

That’s right – she went for Option 4 – the pie in the sky idea I just threw out there as an afterthought. The one I most wanted, but almost didn't include because the 'rational' voice in my head told me not to. In fact, she commissioned a series of stories based in France and Corsica, so I can more than cover the cost of travel.

Lost: nothing.
Gained: my dream articles via a European trip!

Takeaway thoughts:

All it took was an extra minute to include those sentences in the email. I was so ready not to.

Don’t overwhelm her with too many pitches.
Save some of these ideas for later
She needs stories now, and France has nothing to do with that goal.
Her budget has shrunk. There’s no way she’ll afford to assign enough stories to cover the trip’s costs.

But I left the pitch there and remembered this key tenet of asking: Don’t reject yourself. Let others do it for you. This is especially true for situations where you have little to lose and a lot to gain. What if she'd said no? No problemo.

A second key tenet, one that the authors of Women Don't Ask advance in their book, is that it's important to actively seek out opportunities. Don't wait for things to fall in your lap. If I hadn't asked, the chances were very slim that she'd write to me and explicitly say, "Listen, if you happened to want to travel to France, I could assign a few stories."

Happy asking!!

image source: http://propertyprovence.propertyalert.org

Can I return these pants despite your incompetence?

July 14: Day 14.

Details

I hope this is the last time I stand line to return something for a long, long time.

Today, it was pants, which I purchased as a gift for my boyfriend, aka Mr. A., but didn't fit him right. I had the receipt, it wasn't past the deadline, and the pants were unworn. Seems like a simple return?

"I don't know if I can take these back."

"'Scuse me?" I asked the cashier in disbelief.

"I can't see the u-line number, which means there's no way to tell which item it is on the receipt," he explained.

Before I had given both pairs of identically priced pants to Mr. A, I'd cut off the part of their tags, so he couldn't see how much they cost. Apparently, I cut too much of the tag off. The cashier protested he could not see the item's "u-line" code on the tag anymore and he couldn't process the return.

Even though I had a receipt. And the tag, clearly showing the store's name, was still attached. And they were unworn. And the 30-day deadline hadn't passed.

"Both pants cost the same. Here they are on the receipt," I said and placed the receipt on the counter, which he picked up and closely inspected. Indeed, it had two identically priced pants on it, one which Mr. A kept and one which I was now returning. I continued: "Do you need my credit card, or should I slide it here?"

"It's just that, I need the number."

"I have the receipt and the tag, and we know how much they cost, so shouldn't that be enough?"

"Hold on." He huffed in protest and pranced to the men's department, and I waited almost ten minutes for him to return with another employee -- who told him to ring up either item, since they cost the same. Brilliant.

Gained: Technically, I gained the value of those pants, since apparently the return was in jeopardy. More importantly I refused to put up with someone's incompetence or attitude. This shouldn't have been my ask for the day, I would like to shift gears from returning things to stores and into more interesting territory, but that's what the cards dealt again, I'll take it.

Revealing the Daily Asker project to Mr. A

Tonight I mentioned this project to Mr. A, who immediately started reading the first two weeks of posts on his smartphone as we drank wine at Bondi, an urban/outback Aussie bar in the Gaslamp district. He said I should give myself more credit when it comes to the male psyche (re: showering in Sequoia).

"If I hadn't been there, come on, you know he would have let you." Blush. But if he hadn't been there, I wouldn't have asked. Creepy!

He also asked me why I decided to start a blog, rather than simply asking every day and not writing, or keeping a personal journal. The original impulse to ask and blog was spontaneous, and instantly connected in my mind. For not good reason other than to just do it.

But now that I've been at this for Two Whole Weeks (!!) I'm finding that a blog keeps me accountable. It's easy to skip a journal entry. A blog forces me to form a habit.