July 02, 2008

Can I ask for something everyday for a year?


I've just signed up for 365 days of asking.

Prompted by a book I started reading today, Women Don't Ask, about how women's reluctance to negotiate costs them millions of dollars individually -- not to mention the collective losses -- I decided, quite spontaneously when I got to the bottom of page 7, to try asking.

Perks. Discounts. Upgrades. 2 for 1. 3 for 2. A better restaurant seat. Application of an expired 20 percent coupon. Salary boost. Access to discretionary funds. Lower insurance rate.

The point of this exercise is not to get stuff for free. I will not beg or ask for unilateral favors. I will never bring up that I'm blogging before or while asking. Anything I get should be part of a transaction in which I'm also providing something: money, time, expertise. Or, part of a transaction in which I'm undoing or counteracting an inconvenience or loss. Ideally, it has to be an exchange in which I leverage my position to my advantage.

The point is to simplify my life and boost my financial situation by asking. The point is to try to benefit from the type of situation where "it can't hurt to ask." The point is to start thinking about asking in the first place. The point is to become a better asker over time: identify opportunities, identify my needs and desires, develop strategies, maximize savings and earnings. The point is to use asking as a springboard for becoming a negotiator who can be cutthroat or cajoling, as needed.

Also, for something to count as an asking, it has to be explicit. The benefit won't count, for the purposes of this exercise, if I hinted at it, or got a lucky break, or would have gotten it anyway.

Well. A long-winded and rather dry beginning, which I reserve the right to edit for linguistic clarity, but not intent. That's what I'm signing up for. No questions asked.

6 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. If you are paying your own medical costs, you should DEFINITELY be asking for better rates for doctors' office services and hospital bills.

    Negotiate your bills: healthinsuranceinfo.net , where you'll find three free guides from Georgetown University's Health Policy Institute. The third one, "managing and avoiding medical debt", is especially relevant to asking for what you want!

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  3. La Roxy!
    Congratulations on your new project! Sounds exciting and inspiring! I completely relate to how difficult it can be for a woman to ask for something. Many times even for something we down right deserve!! Right?! Hmmm...I would be curious to know what women consider "the hardest ask" to be? I would say "the ask" for commitment from a boyfriend, perhaps? Maybe even harder than asking for a raise! haha!!

    Congrats again and I look forward to reading your new adventures!!

    Hugs,
    Juju!

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  4. a very cool idea, it reminds me of a book i read years ago, "The Aladdin Factor".

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  5. I've just found your blog through a link at Colour Me Happy. My Chairman of the Board tells me I need to learn ask for help, even if I don't need the help... But I'm stubbornly independent, and I've had to rely on myself alone for so long, it's like learning to walk. So I'm going to work my way through you blog and see if I can get some good advice...

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  6. "This ~ Is a W*O*N*D*E*R*F*U*L Concept and the fact that you are sharing this with all of us - is an outrageous gift! Aren't we all really sick and tired of having that childhood tape come into our heads, that constantly says: "Now, now, now! NICE WOMEN...Don't ask for ANYTHING!".
    Ohhhhh, Really ???
    Well, Babycakes! You are our New Crusader and you will show us, HOW!
    May The Chutzpah Be With You !
    From,
    Joanie...the tall brunette that could.

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